Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cheating. Show all posts
Friday, April 5, 2013
Hard day
Today is a hard day...yesterday the X went to lunch with the new match girl. Tonight they are meeting and tomorrow they have a date at a wine field. He never drank wine. Tonight worries me because they might kiss. I keep telling myself why do I care? I mean I don't want him...I know for sure I don't want him. I guess I just don't want him to move on so fast. I mean it is so hard living with him and seeing him talk and meet her. I hate that I am so nosy. I really wish I could turn off my emotions. I need to move out of the house. He is making me hate him. I don't trust any man...no matter how good they seem. Sadly every guy would cheat no matter. My friend told me sometimes you have to eat shit to get what you want. Right now I am putting money aside and paying off old debt so that way when I do move out money won't be so tight. I dread thinking about living check to check...I digress...so tonight is his meet up...I am so annoyed and nosy. I dread the thought of them kissing and walking hand in hand. But oh well...I guess it is what it is...I need to deal...I need to go play and have fun also...but I will never trust another man and right now I am not in the mindset to even work on wanting to build a relationship!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Flustered
You find out your husband is seeing another woman...a million things run through your head...you're
hurt-angry-worried and confused. You want to lash out and punch him and the woman he's talking to. A man that you have been with for 14 years...you don't want him anymore but you don't want him with someone else...especially going out on fun dates and doing things y'all never did. You become a spy...better then any FBI agent out there. Why do you care? With everything you hear and read...you feel your body tightening. So much that it shakes and your heart is racing. At this point you hate him...like really hate him. Who is this man on this page? Dancing-drinking wine and talking all big about trying new places? Ohhh the man I knew didn't dance in public...never bought a bottle of wine in fourteen damn years...until last week. You sit and watch him...wine in hand...phone on his body. The phone is up his ass...and now on silent...he must think you're dumb...but women are observant and they notice when their spouse is doing something out of the norm. Why do we need to feel jealous when we don't want them? Good riddance! I think it's a possession thing...a why didn't they do that for me type of thing. You wanted out and you kept staying for fear of hurting him. But here he is...on dating sites and saying and doing things that you never would have dreamt. All those nights you sat in the church parking lot...praying...all those nights you lied in bed crying...stood in the shower crying...and whining to your friends...well here is your damn sign...take it... A wise friend said sometimes you gotta hurt to heal...and I say this phrase daily now.
hurt-angry-worried and confused. You want to lash out and punch him and the woman he's talking to. A man that you have been with for 14 years...you don't want him anymore but you don't want him with someone else...especially going out on fun dates and doing things y'all never did. You become a spy...better then any FBI agent out there. Why do you care? With everything you hear and read...you feel your body tightening. So much that it shakes and your heart is racing. At this point you hate him...like really hate him. Who is this man on this page? Dancing-drinking wine and talking all big about trying new places? Ohhh the man I knew didn't dance in public...never bought a bottle of wine in fourteen damn years...until last week. You sit and watch him...wine in hand...phone on his body. The phone is up his ass...and now on silent...he must think you're dumb...but women are observant and they notice when their spouse is doing something out of the norm. Why do we need to feel jealous when we don't want them? Good riddance! I think it's a possession thing...a why didn't they do that for me type of thing. You wanted out and you kept staying for fear of hurting him. But here he is...on dating sites and saying and doing things that you never would have dreamt. All those nights you sat in the church parking lot...praying...all those nights you lied in bed crying...stood in the shower crying...and whining to your friends...well here is your damn sign...take it... A wise friend said sometimes you gotta hurt to heal...and I say this phrase daily now.
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