Hard day

Today is a hard day...yesterday the X went to lunch with the new match girl. Tonight they are meeting and tomorrow they have a date at a wine field. He never drank wine. Tonight worries me because they might kiss. I keep telling myself why do I care? I mean I don't want him...I know for sure I don't want him. I guess I just don't want him to move on so fast. I mean it is so hard living with him and seeing him talk and meet her. I hate that I am so nosy. I really wish I could turn off my emotions. I need to move out of the house. He is making me hate him. I don't trust any man...no matter how good they seem. Sadly every guy would cheat no matter. My friend told me sometimes you have to eat shit to get what you want. Right now I am putting money aside and paying off old debt so that way when I do move out money won't be so tight. I dread thinking about living check to check...I digress...so tonight is his meet up...I am so annoyed and nosy. I dread the thought of them kissing and walking hand in hand. But oh well...I guess it is what it is...I need to deal...I need to go play and have fun also...but I will never trust another man and right now I am not in the mindset to even work on wanting to build a relationship!