More bad news

So my body is taking a toll. I've hardly been eating but I'm gaining weight-probably the stress and thyroid. I haven't slept much and I've been sick and my body is so sore. I've upped my water and I've been working out. I went to the chiropractor today. They did a stress test in the spine and back. It is sup to be all green and the lines are sup to be even but her i go thinking I'm a bad A and I can handle stress blah blah and then the results come...her face was like OMG! She said wow that's a lot of red...more then I figured you would have. I said why and she said because your so up beat...little did she know I sat in her parking lot and cried for 10 minutes and refreshed my makeup so I would look decent. I cried all the way there from work. Seems to be a daily thing for me...this crying. Today tho was for another reason. My dad called me crying. He told me my step mom told him she wanted a divorce and my dad was crazy upset even tho tho has been coming go awhile....the shock of it all gets to a person. You know you have to go through the stages of emotions. He told me he wants to kill himself. He doesn't know about my struggles and that we are separated and about to be in different houses and I sure can't tell him now. At this point I'll be in my new place months before he knows. My dad tho... I feel so bad. I know how she feels and I totally understand both their views. He tells me I can't talk to her. She's raised me since I was 13mths. He says she's just a step and that's just not how I feel. I'm stuck in the middle. I spoke to my uncle about it. We have a strange relationship but I like it. We go awhile without talking but he's a good guy, a great Christian and he and I Vent and he's very special to me. I should see him more and talk to him more. So the stress test...probably not the best day to do that. She's worried and said it could cause digestive issues-weight and other problems-hummm I said do you see me? I have all of those! So then I come home crying again and I sit in the garage for about 15 minutes talking to God and myself. I go in and get another bomb dropped on me. The X web on a day so this girl is clingy to him because she has a 14 nth old baby as she wants a daddy for him and now he's talking to another girl. I get to watch him all night checking his phone and texting. Yea...it's all just killing me now. The stress of it all z I'm worried about my dad , my baby, our future and finances and selling this house and where will we go? I don't want to move out of town because I don't want to take her from her daddy. Then my job....I can retire in 9 yrs but I won't because I'll have a 13 yr old but I'll have that option. I just don't know anymore but I know I can't afford anything nice and I'll be living in some crappy apartment struggling week to week. That's just what I prayed and wasted all my time praying for all these yrs! Since I was young I prayed for a great Christian man and good life and here I am at 33 starting over, living poor and raising my child as a statistic. I hope I don't fail her. I feel like a horrible mother. I hope one day she doesn't leave me to move with her daddy. That will kill me.